Category Archives: Testimonies

MPC (Q2 2018): Testimony from Gerard and Alicia

Gerard:

Alicia and I, have known each other for more than 16 years and have been together for 13 years.
Knowing each other and being in a relationship for so many years, many thought that our relationship was smooth as silk, without quarrels, without squabbles. That was only the surface.

Alicia:

Who would have thought that with time, we would get more easily upset with each other, over minor things that can actually be resolved simply.
Some of the examples were: Chronic lateness, hurtful jokes, insensitivities, judgemental remarks etc.

Since joining MPC, we have come to recognise that we can help each other improve our relationship and overcome our faults and weaknesses using the tools they taught us.

One of the many things that MPC introduced us to was ”reconciliation”, the act of looking into each other’s eyes and holding each other’s hands, seeking forgiveness for the wrong we did; searching our souls for petty things that should not even have been an issue.

Gerard:

Being punctual is very important to me but it became an issue when Alicia always kept me waiting. In the past, while waiting for her to turn up for Mass, i would usually spam her whatsapp commenting that if she had left the house earlier, she would be there in church on time. Both of us would already have been angry and upset before meeting. However, recently, after MPC, she was late for our appointment to meet for Mass. Instead of sending her the long string of text messages of how she could have been early, I chose not to focus on my annoyance but to pray for her to make it on time before the Priest walks down the aisle. Lo and behold, she made it and was on time. Instead of feeling irritated, i felt a sense of joy.

Unknowingly, being bombarded by the “world’s plan for us” our sensitivities towards each other have been numbed. Perhaps, being friends for too long has made us “bold” in terms of our tone and in terms of the crude jokes we make of each other. We might think it is ok, but in actual fact, our partner feels the hurt. It gets real when we talk about career progression, money, settling down etc. Unknowingly, we put down each other rather than raise each other up. MPC has indeed reminded us not to take each other for granted and to use the tools of being life-giving to each other.

Alicia:

Another topic that struck us was “love is a decision”.

Making sense of God’s plan for us can be a challenge without understanding the concept that “Love is decision” For example;

    • Listening when we are tired and impatient.
    • Forgiving without Judging.
    • Not keeping score of who wins or who loses.

At the end of the day, we learnt not to hold onto the hurt but to let it go.

As couples and individuals, we are guilty of not being able to instinctively make love a decision. MPC however has deeply seeded this within our minds and we have since verbalized “this decision to love” each time we feel hurt, and immediately forgive. There were several occasions when Gerard, without a word, would just walk away after a disagreement leaving me standing alone, hurt and angry. Ever since attending MPC, I have learnt to understand things from Gerard’s point of view and why he does it. The stress at work would trigger his “teenage stomping” episodes. Just recently though Gerard made a decision to love me when he didn’t walk away after a disagreement. As for me, normally, I would pass hurtful remarks to him but this time round, I made a conscious decision to love him by holding back a comment I knew he would get upset with and tried my best to listen.

MPC has been transformational, it has also opened our eyes to the struggles that other couples faced especially our wonderful presenting couples. 

Gerard:

We were brought closer through the weekly sessions and have committed ourselves to do more activities together such as praying together, going for holy hour together, attending mass together.

We found the couple paks to be very  useful. If possible, we would recommend friends to attend this course too as the couple paks forces us to talk about issues that we might brush aside with our day to day hectic schedule.

Alicia:

With this, we would like to thank you and wish everyone all the best in your upcoming marriages. Thank you all for the wonderful journey

 

Best Regards

Gerard & Alicia

MPC (Q2 2018): Testimony from Nicholas and Ariel

Ariel:

A little bit about us – Nicky and I have been together for close to 4 years before we decided it was time to take the next step, planning a marriage and starting a family.  Our relationship was one of mixed nature, religiously and racially speaking. Being born into and having grown up with Catholic values, Nicky wanted us to have a proper Catholic wedding in the same church that his great grandparents and grandparents have held theirs.

Nick:

So how did we end up in MPC? Marriage is no simple thing. As a Catholic, I felt the sacrament of marriage is not something to be merely decided at the dash of a pen in a civil institution.  There has to be a certain gravitas, a conjoining of the destiny of two individuals for life. It is both a celebration and ceremony and where better to promise to commit to each other than under the witness of God in his very own house? Thus, it was then that we started on our journey into the folds of MPC.

Ariel:

We touched on various topics throughout the course of MPC, however the topics that left the deepest impressions on me would be Forgiveness and The Sanctity of Life. Forgiveness is something that I have always struggled with, throughout the course of our relationship, regardless of whether I was on the receiving or giving end of it. “I’m sorry” was hard, and “please forgive me” that much harder. I didn’t want to be the weaker one, the vulnerable one, the one asking for forgiveness, and neither did Nicky. We were both a lot stubborn and a little proud. Some fights left deeper scars than others, and sometimes our forgiveness of each other was at best superficial, often unspoken because neither really asked for it.

Nick:

I too felt that Session 2 (Ways to communicate love and Forgiveness) was the most impactful lesson in MPC for me.  I like to think of myself as a driven go-getter gung ho type of guy. And the first casualties of always wanting to race for the podium are humility and the willingness to admit one’s mistakes. Accepting a wrong and improving is one thing, but to go out there and publicly say I was wrong was a difficult thing to do. Being the first born and only son in a Chinese family also didn’t help much with regards to that either. I was confrontational, I was spoiled, I was selfish. In fact before we got together, Ariel actually hated me! After we got together, we had big fights early on, big shouting matches. And rare was it the time that I apologised for my sins. Age has certainly mellowed me and confrontation is something that I would rather not engage in now, much less with someone I love. Communication is the sinew of every relationship and session 2 not only emphasised this fact but most importantly, gave us the means and tools on how to approach difficult scenarios. Many of us fear arguments and even a confrontational person like me can get tired of it. We shrug it aside and watch TV or focus on computer games, letting any residual problems fester away. Cutting the rope and retying it not only imprinted on us that sorting out issues made our relationship stronger, to me personally? It actually hurt me to cut that little piece of string and tying it back represented a personal pledge to make sure our knot is ever strong, to never ever give up no matter what.

Ariel:

As of today, we’re still a little stubborn, but also a little bit less proud. We have both said “please forgive me” to each other in one or two occasions, let go of our pride, and we have both truly forgiven.

While Forgiveness was a topic that benefited both of us, the discussion on The Sanctity of Life was a pivotal moment for me personally. In the age of thriving gender equality and feminism, as a woman, I have always leaned towards being pro-choice, rather than pro-life. I have always believed that we, as women, should be able to decide what happens to our bodies, and no legal or religious conduct should be able to force us to do anything against our free will. I still believe in women’s freedom of choice, but at the same time, Father David Garcia’s arguments on the moral and ethical implications of our choices have also made me reconsider the costs of our freedom, and that our choices bear the weight of another living being and should not be made lightly. My mom had me when she was 22, a difficult choice that she made with sacrifices to her own ambitions. I could not imagine the thoughts that crossed her mind when the time came to make that decision, but I’m forever thankful that she looked beyond herself and saw an entire existence at her mercy.

Nicky:

In that same session on the Sanctity of Life, we also discussed Human Sexuality, which made me sit back and consider my behaviours, and how should I treat my spouse respectfully. The couple pack had a question if a wife was allowed to say “No” and it really got me thinking. It originally felt silly or outrageous but it slowly made sense. To reach that level of selflessness such that my spouse could never say no was an idea that never occurred to me before. I can personally say that I’ve yet to achieve the ideal but to be able attain that level of control over myself is something worth working towards. True control over oneself in treating my wife and the act of love would definitely make me into a better person, a more respectful person, a thinking individual not easily tempted by base desires and most importantly, a less selfish person. Also, this control over self extends beyond sexuality and I feel is important especially when confronted with the temptations and excesses that always surround us outside.

Ariel:

As a freethinker and an occasional cynic, I was inclined to think that MPC was just a course primarily designed to persuade me to join the religion, and yet another formality to complete before we could have our church wedding. However, despite my predispositions, I have found myself and Nicky growing as individuals, and our relationship evolving just from the short 5 weeks. Each and every topic discussed throughout the course allowed us to truly reflect on ourselves, our actions, goals and desires, and also challenged the way we think, our moral and ethical principles. In the end, MPC was an eye-opening experience that gave us a deeper understanding of ourselves, our relationship and what lies ahead of us.

Nick:

It would be lying to say that we are miraculously a perfect couple after MPC, that fights no longer happen (we are planning a wedding after all) but the tools MPC have equipped us with have been priceless in helping us communicate with each other better and deal with problems much more efficiently.

We want to build a strong family, a house and you cant do that without quality material, equipment and  tools. We definitely feel that MPC has thoroughly showered abundantly with the above. We are very glad to have attended such a program and it has been a thoroughly enjoyable experience throughout.

Thank you.